Its been almost a year since I passed out from BPCC. November 14. Today's November 8, just 6 days away from my POP anniversary. Now that I look back, I wonder if all the effort put in across the year was worth garnering for this final journey. Hm.
I wished we were able to stick to the original plans though. Its a pity time didn't play in our favor.
But at least, at the very least, let me close this chapter with a fulfilling experience. I want to be there to pen the final chapter.

During the days leading up to our final journey, I kept thinking to myself: Should I do it or not? On one end was my injury and my injury claim, while on the other end it was my moral obligations: to my war buddies, my company, and my pioneers.

It wasn't easy. Time and again the company(higher HQ) disappointed me. The overnight wayang as such. I told myself I didn't want to become a used sugarcane of the SAF. You know how the vendors squeeze the juice out of the sugercane? They push the sugercane through the machine, do it a few times over and over again, then push it into a smaller gap, ensure that all the juice is squeezed out, and at the end of the day, they probably use the dried-out husk as fertiliser in the backyard.
I didn't want to become that.

The company specs and pioneers were very supportive when I was initially diagnosed. Well, mostly actually. They told me that it wasn't worth it to carry on working for the company and that they wouldn't blame me if I didn't join them in the final exercise.
Those words pushed me gradually towards the 'do not' side of the scale. It all made sense. I was only doing harm to myself. It wasn't worth it to slave for the company. I had a choice. But I still remained undecided. The moral obligations were overbearing. Everytime someone mentioned the problem with the manpower in our platoon, I was reminded of my moral obligation.

I can't walk away. I shouldn't go for it. They need the manpower. Its not worth it.

And yet all it took was one statement from one person for me to come to a final decision. The statement was unrelated to the exercise. It was unrelated to my injury. It was unrelated to anything that I mentioned.

'我们都一起chiong这么久了,我都没有感觉我们是不同batch的.'

It struck me like a stone on an eggshell. He was right. We had worked together from the very beginning. It was especially so for our platoon. How could I possibly undermine that? It wasn't just the moral obligations. It was about fulfilling the bonds we had built since last November. The bonds that were so significant throughout January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, and forever.

We had visited each and every reservoir together. We had passed through sunset and sunrise, watched the beauty of the sun rays glimmering on the water surface together. The Orion constellation always looking down upon us at night. I will never forget that. I had to go for this exercise.

So my mind was made up. It was to be that I will take my respective place on this final journey, although PS had always meant it that way by never approaching to discuss this topic with me.

I will be there to pen the final chapter. And we will finish this with pride and glory. For each and everyone of us: Power projection.