I didn't mention I was going to kill myself.
When I mentioned eternal rest, I meant lying around all day just resting.
A lifetime of leisure. Yea.
Not death.
It means becoming a social bum.

Anyway I figured out why its better to exercise 1st and eat later instead of eating 1st and exercising later.
Today I carried my CPU to the computer shop.
Burnt 15kJ of energy.
Then I went to eat.
And I felt full.
That was lunch.

At dinnertime, I went to eat 1st before carrying my CPU back home.
Burnt another 15kJ of energy.
Now I am hungry again. Argh.
Next time I study how much energy I should take in.
Then I eat enough food to cover that extra energy I need to do labour work.
Hmm.

There are reasons why I am feeling so down lately.
I can't talk to my dad without ending up in a yelling competition.
I dunno why.
I am unhappy with the fact that he doesnt give a damn abt me.
He's super inconsiderate.
I know my mom's constantly helping me.
And defending me.
But when she's nt around, I end up quarreling with my dad again.
I really cant take this anymore.
I don't feel like going home.
My dad comes home much earlier than my mom.
And I have to risk a quarrel for a few hours.
I don't want my mom to dispute with my dad becos of me either.
I rather stay out and dun come home.
There's a lot of stress building on me lately.
Hais...

My mom keeps telling not to run away from home despite all this.
She hopes I can just bear with it.
And I suppose I will stay put for her sake.
For now.

Staying out late and not going home.
Is that a solution?

"Cant I just run away and never come back?"