After talking to zkai...
i began to realise something
i treasure friendship a lot
that's why i feel so impacted when i lose my frens
why do i treasure frenship so much?
cos thats where i get all my energy from
all my support comes from my frens
my family cant give me the support i need in life
there's nth wrong with my family... its just that i dun communicate with them a lot
i tried talking to my parents b4
they dun understand...
they cant give me the support i need
thus i turn to my frens

All my frens are the pillars holding me up
as i lose a fren, a pillar falls
as the number of pillars decrease, i feel unstable
i feel that i m gonna collapse
i feel the strength in me decreasing

when i lose a gd fren... i feel the impact hard
its like digging a hole in me
and that hole causes all the strength to seep out of me
lately i have had many such holes dug in me
but they are being patched up by my closest frens... i m grateful to them for being there

is it possible for me to find new frens?
to make up for those i have lost?
yes...
but will it be the same again?
no...
cos even if i find new frens its not the same
the bonds with my previous frens are lost
its hard for me to get used to the empty feeling

cherish ur closest friendships... u never know when it will end
it might end abruptly and u wun even know the cause of it...

i hope to build up some permanent friendships
some pple say dat frenship can't last forever
i believe it can
i believe that i can forge a friendship that will last forever
pple whom i can approach 30 years from now
for a drink
for a chat
for one of our usual gatherings
its possible
i know it is
i just have to work for it...

*added on*
There's been a slight misunderstanding i think...
i find that i m losing some of my gd frens
thus it depresses me
and i re-evaluated who were my closest frens
i realised that i dun hv many close frens from 13/06
when i thought that wuld be my best class ever
thus i felt sad
looked back and wondered if those promises we made were true after all
i m not losing my frens as a whole
i believe there are many pple out there who are there for me
actually i should be glad that i have at least 10 pple whom i can call my close friends
some pple are sad that they dun even have a gd fren
i shld be satisfied that i have so many pple there for me
after reading all the tags from so many pple
i feel blessed to have so many frens
thanks to everyone for making me happier
i feel much much better now =)
i also settled some issues abt the class =)
i will cheer up pple... thx again for all ur support